The weather isn’t to bad today. I woke up feeling not too bad. My legs tingled a little and my lower back is burning. I have a little bit of stabbing pain in my lower back. Nothing much compared to the last couple of weeks.
I just ate lunch and have to sit and relax. My back is aching a lot. The front and sides of my upper lags are quite numb and a bit tingly. my lower legs feel like they are asleep. My left arm is around half numb and feeling weak. The numbness goes up to my shoulder.
I just got done cleaning my little girls room. It only took me around 10 minutes. Just doing that has cause me to have a lot of pain in my private area. It is burning really bad. It has a pain that is half way between dull and sharp. I had to sit and relax. My feet are almost completely numb now. Makes it hard to walk.
It is almost supper now. My left leg is burning so bad I just want to cry. I have done very little since I cleaned my daughters room. Maybe the weather is changing. The weather is my worst enemy. I just went through 3 weeks of bad weather. I wasn’t able to much in that time. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching tv. I don’t like watching tv. I would much rather be outside having fun. There is so much in life to do.
I have to try to make supper. When I hurt this much I have to make something simple. I am not sure what that will be. Last night was tacos. My wife helped with it. I might just ask her to make supper tonight. I think I might be hurting to much to eat anyway. I have a lot of days that I am hurting too much to eat. I have meal replacements on hand for those days. They taste horrible but it works.
It is now almost 9 pm. I had to go to the drug store to get my girl some medicine. She has the flu. I do to but I am on enough meds that I don’t need to take any more. It is only a block away so we walked. By the time I got home my legs felt weak and they are tingling and burning like crazy. We watched a movie this evening so I just relaxed. I have to keep moving around though. Staying in one spot makes my legs go numb. I need to change positions every 5 minutes or so. The pain in my lower back is not to bad. I only get the sharp pain every 10 to 15 minutes. It is nice to have an easy day. It really helps to lift my spirits.
Like I have already said, the last 3 weeks have been hell. At times suicide was a viable option. I don’t really want to but when the pain is that bad for that long and I am on that many meds, I really do question weather I should or not. Many people wouldn’t understand why. Only someone that has experienced this much pain could truly understand. But, I have a wonderful wife and a wonderful daughter that need me. So they say anyway.
Time for me to put my girl to bed and wait for my wife to get home. I can’t go to bed until she gets home because I need a sleeping pill to sleep. If I don’t take it the pain will keep me awake most of the night. I can’t take the pill til she gets home just in case my daughter needs something. If my wife is home she can take care of her. She is a good wife and friend and mom.